Tyler
Friday morning...
Mark
You guys awake yet
I'm actually shaking right now
I just walked past the kitchen to get water and heard this loud crack
Tyler
what was it now man i’m trying to eat breakfast and focus
Mark
It was the wooden paddle
She's literally standing in the common area in her robe just testing the swing against a throw pillow
It sounded like a gunshot
Josh
yooooo haha she is warming up the arm early today!!
she must be hyped for the rivalry game 👀🔥🔥
Mark
It's not funny, Josh
She didn't even look at me when I walked in
She just kept hitting throw pillow and staring out the window
She looked absolutely furious already
Dylan
makes sense
i stayed up looking at the defensive analytics for the team we are playing today
it's highkey bad news for us
their secondary's ranked top 5 in the nation
they have a massive pass rush
so the probability of us losing by at least 10 points is sitting at 60% right now
Tyler
I AM NOT GETTING HIT AGAIN!!!
my ass still kinda hurts when i remember the beating she gave us after the last blowout loss
if she comes at me with that wood again today cuz we cant move the ball i might actually just walk off the field and quit the team 😤
Josh
chill ty haha
look on the bright side
when she leans into the swings, she bends over a lot and the view is incredible
i'd take 10 more strokes just to see her in that position again for 5 mins straight tbh
Mark
Bro can you shut up for once
You aren't the one who has to live here and listen to her talk about how we are embarrassing the school colors
She's taking this way too personally
She kept saying our performance is tarnishing her legacy as head cheerleader
Dylan
tbh it's insane that your dad had to marry an alumnus of this specific college who was literally the face of the cheer team back in her heyday
she knows every single play we are supposed to run
she probably knows the coaches too
Tyler
idc about her legacy or her pompoms man
i just want to be able to sit down without whining like a kid
dylan if your math says we're gonna lose then we need a new plan because am not welcoming another paddle to my ass
Mark
She said she's coming straight to the locker room after the final whistle for a post-game evaluation
She’s definitely bringing the wood with her
Josh
evaluation in the locker room sounds official haha
maybe she will wear the cheerleader outfit while she handles us?? 👀🔥
Mark
She said the paddle's getting used right there in the showers regardless if we lose
Dylan give us a real strategy or we are dead
Dylan
lowkey we just have to avoid the double coverage on Tyler
and hope the line holds for more than 3 seconds
or we are guaranteed to be sore for a week
That night, post game...
Tyler
i'm actually gonna die
can't even lay on my back right now bc my ass feels like it's on fire
just looked in the mirror and the welt on my left side's kinda purple
Josh
yooooo haha
that sounds actually insane
a giant red stripe across your whole cheek is a crazy way to end the night
Dylan
it's actually interesting because i was watching her technique while she was handling you
she definitely shifted her mechanics halfway through the session
she changed her grip for maximum impact and started using her hips more right after she mentioned that interception you threw in the 4th quarter
that swing was optimized for peak velocity
no wonder you're feeling it that bad
Mark
Guys I'm so sorry
I don't even know what to say
It's humiliating that my own stepmom is the one doing this to my teammates
Had to listen to her talk about how soft we are the entire car ride home while she was cleaning the wood with a cloth in the passenger seat
Josh
it was rough for sure
but did you guys see her face when she was standing over us in those high heels??
she looked so cold and authoritative while she was calling us losers
tbh the way she was dressed made the whole thing kinda hot 👀🔥
Tyler
can't believe i'm saying this
but i hate that i agree with you
was literally gritting my teeth from the pain
but i couldn't stop looking at her legs while she was swinging
Dylan
the shame is addictive because it is such a weird power dynamic and the adrenaline from the fear makes your heart race
but the problem is that this loop is not actually helping us play better
we're just more afraid of making mistakes on the field
which just makes things worse
Mark
Exactly
We were playing scared in the 2nd half because we knew she was already waiting in the tunnel with that thing
We're gonna end up in the hospital if we keep losing
And chances are she's just gonna keep getting more creative with that grip
Josh
imagine if we actually won though!!
would she still be that intense?
or would she finally chill out and be nice??
Tyler
idk if she even knows how to chill out
atp i think she just likes seeing us suffer in the locker room
Later that same night...
Mark
Are you still awake?
I can't sleep
Lisa
I am
Mark
Just wanted to say I'm sorry about the score tonight
It was embarrassing for everyone
Lisa
And "embarrassing" is an understatement
I'm beyond angry, Mark
I'm also disgusted with that lack of effort
Mark
We let the school down
Just wanted to check if you were still fuming
Or if we could maybe move past this
Lisa
You don't seem to understand
I'm not just your stepmom watching a game
I'm a proud alumnus of this college too
When I was here, I was the head cheerleader for a team that actually knew how to play
We won almost every game we played
We were a dynasty
The boys on that roster were actual men
They didn't shrink in the fourth quarter like you and your friends did today
Mark
I’m trying to lead them, Lisa
I really am
It’s just been a rough start with the new playbook
Lisa
I don't want to hear about the playbook
It's humiliating for me to sit in those stands wearing the school colors while you get destroyed
I have people from my graduating class texting me asking what happened to the program
Mark
I promise practice next week is gonna be different
I’m gonna push the guys harder than ever
We won't let it happen again
Lisa
Promises are cheap, Mark
"Trying" doesn't put points on the board
"Trying" doesn't stop a rival from running up the score on our home turf
Mark
We just need more time to click
The chemistry is almost there
Lisa
You're running out of time
This current losing streak is tarnishing my legacy at this school as much as it is hurting your season
I didn't come back to this campus to be associated with a group of losers
I suggest you find a way to win
Or the locker room sessions will get much longer
And just so you know, I don't enjoy this
I just want to enjoy the game and watch my team win
And most importantly, bring pride to the school
Mark
I understand
I’ll make sure everyone knows the stakes have changed
Lisa
I'd be upset if they didn't already know
I made that very clear with the wood tonight
Now go to sleep
You have a lot of work to do
Saturday afternoon..
Lisa
Just another quiet Saturday afternoon by the pool 💋🍷
Trish
OMG
You look absolutely incredible in that bikini 🔥
Seriously who is that even for though?
Lisa
Honestly, it's completely wasted today
The house is totally empty and quiet
Mark is hiding in his room
Probably too embarrassed to face me after their loss last night
Trish
Is he really that upset about the loss?
I thought he'd be used to it by now 💀
Was the post-game session that intense?
Tell me everything!
Lisa
It was exhausting
My arm is actually sore today from the paddling session in the locker room
I didn't hold back at all
Trish
It was THAT pathetic???
Lisa
That's an understatement
It was abysmal
Trish
That is wildddd
Do you think it'll work though?
Are they ready to play like pros next time??
Lisa
That's the problem
I’m venting because I don’t think the discipline is working anymore
They just take the beatings like sad little puppies
They aren't actually improving on the field
They're just becoming submissive instead of becoming winners
It’s annoying
Trish
So they just stand there and take it??
That's so tragic
But also kind of hot
What's the Plan B then?
You can't just keep hitting their asses forever
Lisa
Exactly
And even if I have to, it's not like I want to do it either
So there's something I've been considering
Trish
Oh??
Spill then
Tell me your Plan B
Lisa
Since the stick failed to get results
I think it's time to use the carrot
Trish
Oh??
Lisa
They're terrified of me right now
The realization hit me with the way Mark talked to me via text last night
Had me thinking that if my own stepson is scared of me
Then the other boys must be too
Trish
And???
Lisa
I need to change their mindset
I have to make them stop fearing me
And instead, make them want me
Trish
Girl
You're gonna need to expound for me
Are you going to be nice to them from now on?
Though I'll be honest with you
I can't imagine you playing the sweet stepmom role lmao
Lisa
Not exactly sweet
My plan for now is to give them a free sample of what a winner actually gets
Give them a teaser, so to speak
And it will be a show they will never forget
Trish
WAIT
Are you saying what I think you’re saying???
Lisa
And what's that?
Trish
Are you actually going to strip for the whole team or something???
Lisa
Bingo
Trish
🔥💀🔥
Lisa
It'll be a shock to their systems
I want them to be so desperate for a win that they’ll do anything to see more 💋
Trish
YOU ARE INSANE
I LOVE IT
With them being college boys with raging hormones, they're bound to lose their minds!
One concern though
Lisa
What's that?
Trish
How are they even supposed to focus on football after seeing that????
Lisa
Well
They'll be focused on the prize
They'll have no choice but to focus on football to get it
Trish
DAMN
They're going to be the most motivated team in the country 😂🔥🔥
Lisa
That's the short-term goal 🔥
Trish
Keep me updated on every single detail
I need to know their reactions!
Lisa
Don't worry
I'll make sure they understand that the free trial is over after the next game
I'll drill it in their heads that winners get the girl
And losers get nothing but envy
iMessage