Lance
One Saturday afternoon...
Alex
Are we still grabbing food later tonight?
Lance
yup
we're still on for tonight
thinking we hit up that burger place near campus round 8
Alex
That works for me
I should be done reading and ready to head out by then
Lance
reading?
you better not be studying on a saturday bro fr
Alex
I'm not
I'm just reading a book
Lance
what kind
bc you sound like a nerd rn
Alex
A paperback novel
There's nothing nerdy about enjoying a good story on my day off
Lance
bro pls
youre isolating to read a book
what class is that even for
dont tell me youre doing extra credit reading for your english seminar
Alex
I'm not
It's not for a class
I just like reading
The plot's actually quite engaging
Lance
crazy
youre reading smth boring like a book for fun
let me guess
its some dusty philosophy textbook
or some thick historical biography
Alex
It's neither
It's a work of fiction with very detailed character dynamics
Lance
detailed character dynamics he said
lmao
go out and touch grass bro
Alex
I'm quite fine
I like what I'm doing right now
It's stimulating my mind enough
The way the author wrote building tension between characters is really good
Lance
youre such a geek bro
i bet the tension is them holding hands or some weak shit
put the lame book down
go play a video game or something less boring
Alex
You're not the one reading, so I'll keep reading lol
Besides, I don't play video games in the middle of the day
I'll keep reading for a few more hours
I want to see how this chapter resolves before I put it down
Lance
whatever nerd
you do you ig
just dont be late tonight
be at my place 730 so we can walk to the burger spot
Alex
I'll be there
👍
Later...
Melissa
Hey, Alex
I'm heading out now
I'm going to meet your Aunt Karen
Alex
Okay, mom
Have fun
Where are you two meeting up today?
Melissa
We're getting coffee at the place down the street
Mind checking my outfit for me?
Alex
Not at all
Melissa
Alex
That's a nice one
But you realize it's very cold outside today, right?
Melissa
I know
But this makes me look amazing
Alex
I get that
But it's a bit too weather-inappropriate
A tube top is not practical clothing for a cold day
Melissa
I don't really care
Sometimes, fashion is sacrifice
Alex
I don't want you getting sick, mom
And you're going to freeze before you make it to the car
Melissa
The cold won't bother me that much
And I'm confident I can walk fast enough
Alex
You should still wear a jacket
Or at least a sweater
Melissa
That would ruin the whole outfit!
Alex
Your denim jacket won't
And the blue of that jacket will go well with that pink
Melissa
I'll consider it
But I'm not making promises
Stop being so logical all the time, Alex
Alex
I'm just pointing out facts
The temperature dropped 10 degrees in the last hour alone
Melissa
You check the weather app way too much
It's sunny outside
Alex
The sun doesn't change the wind chill factor
Melissa
I'll be fine
She's already waiting for me inside the cafe anyway
I can handle a few seconds of chilly breeze
And I never get sick anyway
You know how healthy I am
Alex
Being healthy won't stop the cold air from freezing your arms
Melissa
Sometimes I wonder where you got your stubbornness
Clearly it’s not from me
Alex
Hahaha
I think you need to be more self-aware, mom
So are you going to use the jacket?
Melissa
Maybe
Maybe not
You'll just have to guess
Alex
I guess I'll find out if you come back shivering
Have fun
Melissa
I will
See you later
Right after Melissa steps out of the house...
Alex
Lance
I'm having a major crisis
Something terrible just happened
Lance
yo wtf
wtf happened now bro
did you trip and break your skull or some shit
Alex
No
And if I did, texting you wouldn't be my first course of action
But mom just left the house
She came into my room while I was reading
Lance
oh
she saw you reading
so what
nothing new
why are you freaking out
Alex
It's not the act itself that I'm worried about her seeing
She asked if I wanted her to bring home anything specific
I couldn't hide the book in time
She saw the cover
Lance
and
were you looking at porn or some shit
lol
Alex
The cover has a woman in very thin lingerie arched over a bed
It's very obvious what kind of book it is
Lance
WHAT
LMFAO
so you WERE looking at porn
bro really said reading as if hes some high class citizen lol
Alex
It's not porn
Besides the cover, there are no pictures
Lance
smut then
your mom caught you reading smut
same difference
she still basically caught you looking at porn
Alex
IT'S NOT PORN!
Lance
whatever lol
she probably thinks youre a total freak now
Alex
Oh, fuck you
Lance
lol did she laugh at you or what
Alex
She didn't
But she made a comment about me being focused
I'm worried about what she thinks
It's going to be so weird when she gets back...
Lance
this is gonna kill me
im gonna die from laughing
alex the big nerd
caught with the dirty book
you shouldve just told her it was for english class bro
Alex
She already knows my class schedule
So I can't lie about something like that
I am worried she'll think I'm some kind of deviant
Lance
you kinda are
reading that stuff in your room with the door unlocked lol
youre so cooked bro
Alex
I'm not a deviant
Watching porn is more deviant-like than this
I just enjoy the writing style and like analyzing it
But she probably won't believe that...
Lance
did you literally just say its for the plot lol
considering this reaction
bet you were on the dirty chapters too
Alex
Irrelevant
I just don't want things to be tense in the house because of a stupid paperback
Lance
bro shes never gonna let u live this down
cant wait to tell the others when we get to the burger spot
Alex
Do not
I'm serious
Lance
nah
this is way too good to keep quiet
the literary genius caught with porn lol
Alex
I'm gonna close my door and lock it for the rest of the day
Don't expect me to show up later
Lance
try that and im raiding your house
ill drag you out if i have to
have fun with your book you lil freak
Alex
I hate you
At the same time...
Melissa
I'm in the car
About to pull out of the driveway
Karen
About time!
I've been at this table forever
You're taking your sweet time
Melissa
I had to deal with Alex before I could get out the door
He was so annoying
Look at what he made me wear
Karen
Why are you wearing a giant hoodie?
Melissa
He made me do it
We'd compromised on a denim jacket
Which would've been way cuter
But it turns out that one needed washing
I had to settle with this
He wouldn't stop pestering me about the wind chill
Karen
Since when do you listen to anyone?
You usually do whatever you want
Melissa
He was being SO PERSISTENT
He kept talking about the cold air
It was exasperating
So I put it on so he'd shut up about it
Faster that way
Karen
You're getting soft
I would've told him to mind his own business haha
Melissa
I'll take it off before I come inside
I'm NOT letting myself be seen wearing this in public
Karen
Good
My latte's already here
And it's getting cold
Hurry up 🙄
Melissa
Okay
But
Karen
Oh come on
Melissa
I have to tell you the craziest thing I saw
Karen
What happened?
Did he spill coffee on the rug or do something equally boring?
Melissa
No!
It's infinitely better than that
I caught him reading an erotic novel in his bedroom!
Karen
You're kidding
Melissa
Oh, I am so serious
I went into his room to ask if he wanted anything
Karen
You just walked right in there?
Was the door not locked?
Melissa
Far as I noticed, he never locks his door when he’s awake
He didn't hear me open his door
Karen
That's hilarious!
And rookie mistake #1
Was he really that deep into it?
Melissa
VERY
He looked so serious
Karen
I bet he was blushing
Melissa
He was a bit red
Especially after he saw me already coming in
Karen
Did he shove it under something?
Melissa
No
But he did slam it shut
If it had been a hardcover, it would've made that thick thump sound
Karen
Oh, I know that too well
Did you see the title?
Melissa
The Secret Room
Karen
Oh my god
That book is SO basic
I read that thing years ago when I was bored
Melissa
I know!
It's such a tame one
I almost laughed in his face right there
Karen
It’s barely even spice!
But I guess it’s a beginner book for people who are starting out with the genre
Though if he sticks to similar titles...
He has zero taste in literature if that is what he's wasting his time reading
Melissa
We're gonna need to fix that
He's a fast reader
But he has no real guidance
Karen
Are you proposing we show him what real erotica is?
Melissa
That's exactly what I'm getting at
We should use our collection
Karen
You want to expose him to real books of the genre already, I see
Melissa
He needs to be exposed to real heat
The ones with broken spines first
Karen
So you want him to start with those that'll make him borderline pass out while reading
Melissa
Damn right
Karen
Wow, you're merciless
Forget what I said about being soft
😄
Melissa
Why, thank you haha
We should bring a whole box of them back from the storage
Karen
Sounds like a plan
We can make him read a chapter from something way better than Secret Room
Melissa
Oooh, that's a good idea
Okay
Let's talk about it more when I get there
See you in 10 minutes
Karen
See you!
That night...
Alex
You won't believe what just happened
Lance
damn bro
lots going on for you today
what now
did your mom kick you out for being a freak
Alex
No
Actually
The opposite
Lance
what
Alex
Mom came home with Aunt Karen
They had a whole stack of hardcore erotica paperbacks on the coffee table
Lance
wtf
fr
Alex
Yeah
That was the last thing I expected
These books are dog-eared
And whatever I described as the cover of the one I'm reading?
That was nothing
Doesn't hold a candle to the ones they brought
They have extremely graphic covers
Lance
lmao no way 💀
i thought she was gonna be weirded out by that one book
Alex
That was the least I expected to
I wouldn't have been surprised if she did kick me out
But she wasn't at all
She even laughed
They both did
Lance
wtf
laughed at what
Alex
At the book I was reading
Called it tame
And said I need a real education on the genre
Lance
bro
wtf
thats crazy
are the covers for the ones they brought that bad
Alex
They're incredibly explicit
Some of the titles are actually shocking
Lance
bro
youre finally getting corrupted fr
can i come over and join this lil smut book club
Alex
Why would you want to come over for this?
You don't even like reading
Lance
idc about the reading part fr
but if theyre that open about smut
or erotica or whatever you call it
they gotta be cool as hell
i might actually meet someone to hook up with in a group like that
Alex
Dude
No
I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be a literary discussion
You're going to have to read if you want to join at all
Lance
nah bro
youre delusional if you think its just about the books now
they basically showed you their porn collection
Alex
Ugh
Don't call it that
Porn is totally different
This is romance and erotica
Huge difference
Lance
whatever you say nerd
but i want in on the next meeting
seriously
ask them if i can stop by with drinks
Alex
Dream on, Lance
I'm embarrassed enough as is
Lance
dont be a hater bro
let me come through
Alex
I'm going to sleep
Lance
lol
whatever
have fun 💀🔥
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