Lance
A few hours later...
Alex
I've reached the section with the restraints
Melissa
Alex
It's 2 in the morning
Why are you still reading?
And why are you texting me?
Alex
Sorry
But I can't stop thinking about how this position's just
Impossible
Melissa
Oh, honey
Please
Give it a rest
Just enjoy the story
Alex
I would if the author understood human anatomy
Melissa
That's one of the best chapters in the book
Alex
They used a specific piece of lingerie to bind her hands behind her back
Then he tilts her forward for the rest of the scene
Melissa
So?
That's the whole point
It's supposed to be intense and restrictive
Alex
If her arms are bound behind her, that angle would cause immediate shoulder cramping
Melissa
Maybe for you
But you've always been a bit stiff
Women are much more flexible than you think
Alex
This has nothing to do with my flexibility though
It's about the range of motion in the shoulder socket
Melissa
She's relaxed, Alex
Relaxed bodies bend better
You wouldn't know that since you're always so tense
Alex
That's literally not how tendons work
Gravity would pull all her weight onto her joints
Melissa
Ugh
You're ruining the fantasy with boring science
You get that from your father for sure
Alex
I'm just trying to find the logic
The character stays in that pose for over 30 minutes
Melissa
And?
I could do that
It isn't that hard
Alex
No, you couldn't
Melissa
Who are you to say so?
You don't know what I can and can't do
Stop acting like you're the expert on my body
Let alone on the human body in general
And just because it's lingerie doesn't mean it's made of silk
Alex
Regardless
It would be painful
Not erotic
Melissa
Pain can be part of the appeal
STOP BEING SUCH A SKEPTIC haha
Just read
Alex
The book says she's perfectly comfortable
That's got to be a blatant lie
Melissa
It's not though
It’s totally possible for someone who knows what they're doing
Alex
I don't believe you
Melissa
What?
Do you want me to prove it? Haha
Alex
Actually
Yeah
Prove it
Show me how someone can maintain that for that long
Without straining or cramping
Melissa
Are you serious?
Alex
100%
Melissa
Fine
Give me 5 minutes
I'll show you exactly how it works
Alex
Wait
I didn't mean you should actually try it right now
Go to sleep
Melissa
Too late now
Should've thought of that before texting me at all
I'll get my gear out and take a quick photo
I'm tired of you doubting
Alex
That's unnecessary
You're going to end up hurting yourself at your age
Melissa
Oh, you did NOT just say that
I'm not backing down
I'm going to win this argument
Alex
Fine
So I guess I should expect complaints about your back in the morning
Melissa
Watch your phone and be quiet
I told you
I'm flexible
And I'm perfectly fine
Alex
I stand corrected about the reach then
But my point about the angle stands
Melissa
Oh, please
Look at my shoulders
They're fine
I'm not feeling the beginnings of a cramp
Nor am I struggling to breathe or anything extreme like that
Alex
The tension's visible though
You won't last 10 minutes
Melissa
I was perfectly comfortable
I could've stayed like that all night if I wanted to
You're just annoyed I proved you wrong
Alex
And you're just saying that because you're stubborn and hate losing
Melissa
Nope
I'm showing you that the author knows more than you ever will
Alex
Whatever, mom
I still have concerns about the circulation in your wrists if you stay like that for a prolonged amount of time
Melissa
You're impossible
Just admit that the scene is hot
Alex
The visual is...
Effective
I'll admit that
Everything else is questionable
Melissa
I'm going wear that again and stay like that until I finish the chapter I’m reading
Just to spite you
Alex
Good luck untying yourself when the cramps start
Melissa
I'll just call you to come unlock them if I have to
I highly doubt that'll be necessary though
Alex
That would be awkward
Melissa
But you'd do it
Alex
To prevent a medical emergency
Melissa
Sure haha
Whatever you say
Alex
I feel like those arm bands or whatever you call them will snap after a while though
Especially as you relax
Melissa
They're reinforced
And stronger than they look
Alex
They'll dig into your skin though
It's going to itch
Melissa
I like the indentations though
Alex
That's a different debate entirely
I'm talking about the structural integrity
Melissa
God
The structure is solid
Just like your stubbornness
Now stop looking at the pic I sent
And don't deny it
I know you're looking
Alex
I'm examining the strap placement
The placement of the buckles seems unnecessarily complex
Melissa
They're strategically placed to prevent the wearer from escaping easily
Alex
Sounds unsafe to me
Melissa
Which is exactly not the theme of the chapter
Alex
Clearly
It's a miracle she survives the night in that book
Melissa
Whatever haha
Now stop texting me so I can finish my reading for the night
👍
The next morning...
Alex
Lance
You won’t believe what happened last night
Lance
what did you do now
did you fail a test or something
Alex
No
It's just about a book
One mom gave me to read
Lance
the smut book?
lol
youre still doing all that huh
Alex
Yeah
We were discussing it last night
But our debate took an unexpected
And frankly disturbing turn
Lance
disturbing huh
okay
lay it on me
Alex
I was reading a chapter that had a scene involving bondage gear
Lance
of course you did
go on
Alex
I basically criticized it
Told her the arm placement made no sense
And that there was high potential for a shoulder injury
But also it would be difficult to breathe in the position described after a while
Lance
why would you even do that
you could just read the book
like a normal person
Alex
I can't just ignore really obvious anatomical errors
Lance
so what did she say
Alex
She got defensive and insisted it was fine for anyone with decent flexibility
Lance
shes not wrong
women are bendy bro
you just made it obvious youve never been with one
Alex
I hardly think that's a problem
Or even anything to be embarrassed about
Anyway
I demanded proof
I didn't believe the straps could bear that kind of tension
Lance
you asked for proof
bro
Alex
I did
I thought she'd send things she found on the internet or something
Pictures, articles, stuff like that
I didn't expect her to send a whole demonstration
Lance
wait
what
Alex
She put on actual gear that she somehow already had
Bound her own hands behind her back
And sent me a pic to show me I was wrong
Lance
bro
wtf
youre kidding
Alex
I'm really not
I was shocked too
I spent like 10 minutes looking at the pic trying to find points of failure
Lance
bro
youre the biggest moron in the history of morons
Alex
What?
I was on a mission!
Lance
dude
you got your mom to tie herself up in her room at night
and you think its about science lol
Alex
She's stubborn and defensive about her books
She wasn't thinking logically against my points at all
Lance
bro
she was showing off
youre so fucking dense
oh my god
stop being a nerd for one second
think about whats actually happening
Alex
I'm thinking the author could've benefited from consulting someone for the technical details
Lance
im fucking dying
shut up alex
fr
something tells me youre using these book arguments as a front
Alex
A front for what?
I was just pointing out blatant weak points in the book
Lance
a front to get physical bro
Alex
That's crazy talk
She's my mom
We just like reading the same kind of books
Lance
youre a lucky moron
and you dont even know it
Alex
There's nothing lucky about my understanding of human physics and such being challenged
Lance
you need to stop analyzing the smut
just talk to her like a normal person for once
maybe ask her to introduce you someone close to your age who likes the same books or some shit
Alex
That's a good suggestion actually
Lance
i know
and stop asking your own mom for proof you clown
Later that day...
Melissa
Woke up an hour ago
I have a meeting in 30 minutes
Does the makeup hide the fact that I look like a total zombie?
Karen
Anyone else you asked would've said yes
But I say you look like you haven't slept in a week
Melissa
Ugh
I'm exhausted
Alex is as stubborn as his father
Karen
Here we go
What did he do this time?
Melissa
We argued at 2 in the morning
Karen
About what?
Melissa
About the bondage chapter in the book we told him to read
Karen
Oh, I remember that one
It's very descriptive
Melissa
He tried to argue about arm positioning and shoulder joints
Karen
Well
He really is his father's son 🤓
Melissa
He basically went on a whole rant about human anatomy
Ttold me the entire scene was a failure of physics
He said her arms would go numb and she'd have a medical emergency
Karen
So he's a nerd
That tracks
Melissa
He was being so smug about it too
Karen
And you couldn't let it go
Melissa
How could I?
I tried explaining, but he didn't believe me
So I put on actual gear and proved him wrong
I got my old leather set out
Karen
At 2 in the morning?
Melissa
Yes
And I sent him a pic to prove he was wrong
He was driving me insane with all that science talk and logic
Karen
You
Are wild
Melissa
I just wanted to prove the author was right
There was nothing wrong with the buckles
Or the angles
Karen
You're so transparent
Melissa
What does that even mean?
I was just defending the literature's honor
Karen
Maybe
But I think showing him the leather set was your main motivation
Literary accuracy is a genius way to get him to look at you like that
You get to show off without it being weird or forced
Melissa
It wasn't like that at all
Karen
You're using the books as a shield for what you want
Melissa
We just had a healthy academic debate
Karen
A debate where you tie yourself up in your bedroom 🙄
Sure
Melissa
And even with a whole visual, he had a lot to say
What a skeptic
I'm tired of him thinking he's smarter than his mother
Karen
He's at least smarter than you think he is
He probably knew exactly what he was doing
Melissa
You think he baited me into doing it?
Karen
I wouldn't put it past him
He knows what buttons of yours to push
Melissa
Ugh
He's so annoying
Karen
But you love the attention
Melissa
Whatever
I have to go to the meeting now
Karen
Try not to fall asleep in your chair
Makeup's not going to hide you drooling
Melissa
Ew
Talk soon
Late that night...
Alex
The internal monologue in chapter 18 makes no sense
Melissa
Oh boy
What is it now?
Alex
The shift from hating her to wanting her takes less than a page
It's a complete leap in character development that doesn't feel earned
Melissa
Desire doesn't wait for a schedule, Alex
Alex
Just reads like a pacing failure to me
Melissa
You know what I think?
You're using all this as a shield
Because the raw parts make you nervous
Alex
I'm not though
I'm being rightfully critical
The author writes like she's never met a man before
Melissa
She's met plenty
That just sounds like you're projecting
Alex
I'm not though
I'm just analytical
And heavily analyzing this novel's structural integrity
Tension doesn't replace the need for a believable emotional transition
Melissa
It's plenty believable
You just hate that it's actually working on you
Alex
It isn't though
Melissa
I bet your pulse is jumping now
Alex
That's a normal response to being annoyed
Melissa
Hmmm
If you say so, prof
Do you still think the tension's unrealistic now?
Alex
That's a great pic but
Entirely unnecessary
Melissa
Answer the question
Is it unrealistic or are you just scared of the truth?
Alex
I'm not though
I just find the craving to be far too descriptive for the current arc
Melissa
You're cracking
And you still haven't answered the question
Alex
I'm not cracking at all
I just noticed a blatant narrative oversight
Melissa
There was none
It just explodes when you're that close to someone
Alex
Just sounds messy to me
And extremely inefficient plot-wise
Melissa
That's just life
Now finish the book and stop whining haha
Alex
Fine
But I'm going to keep noting my criticisms
Melissa
Sure
You do that
Go to sleep now, dork
Alex
Good night, mom
Melissa
Good night, mom
Relax those brain cells for once
iMessage